To my female readers

Something has been on my mind for a while. You see that banner up there, with pictures of people me in suspenders? Of course you do, that was a stupid question. You likely have noticed that one of those pictures serves to titillate the male reader, and at the sight of another readers of the heterosexual female variety become rabidly aroused. I crafted this collage with gender equality in mind, but it has been clear from the start that I have failed.

The sexy man, second from the right, has been cropped at an inopportune place, and being so cropped he is considerably less stimulating than the sexy female opposite him. Please know that this inequity was unintentional. The sexy man was the first picture I re-sized when making this banner on my good friend MS Paint. With my re-sizing skills not sufficiently honed, I left out the best part of the sexy man, his manbulge. I am too lazy to revise the collage to include said manbulge, but I hope the inclusion of the original picture in this post will make up for whatever damage I caused and restore your faith in me as a feminist on the cutting edge, a man living in the world of tomorrow. Since I know I owe you, there is a bonus: asscrack.

Yours sincerely,

Marciano