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To my ex-roommates: the unfiltered interactions we would have had

April 27, 2012

I know it’s been a few days since my last post. I try my best to place a strong filter on this blog, both to make myself a better writer and to keep from boring you with pointless shit.

My ex-roommates have probably gotten used to this reduced level of me, but I wanted to imagine how we would have interacted in the time between posts. Instead of no Marciano for a few days, they would have gotten…

  • About six dirty bowls left in the sink (though to be fair, I would have cleaned four forks in compensation)
  • Close to 47 boogers left on the furniture (sue me for using that joke twice, my lawyers and I are ready)
  • Approximately 11 hours of prime television time lost to me playing Dead Space 2 baked
  • Woken up three times by me brushing my teeth at 2:30 a.m. each night
  • 137 updates on how my fantasy teams are doing (10th, first, second place)
  • Their sweatshirts and hats borrowed twice without their permission
  • Absolutely no free food from Freshens or Belle Air Terrace no matter how few points they have because a manager might read this that is against Villanova Dining Services Policy
  • Half a dozen over-explained jokes like the one above told awkwardly in person
  • Half a dozen eggs they bought used
  • Two jugs of Odwalla Superfood (the green stuff) that they could drink but never will because it looks like puke
  • 20 raps songs they don’t know played loudly while they are studying and I am playing FIFA against someone who doesn’t live there.

I think that’s everything.

The booger transferred fingers.

Look for many posts this weekend.

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