To my ex-roommates: the unfiltered interactions we would have had
I know it’s been a few days since my last post. I try my best to place a strong filter on this blog, both to make myself a better writer and to keep from boring you with pointless shit.
My ex-roommates have probably gotten used to this reduced level of me, but I wanted to imagine how we would have interacted in the time between posts. Instead of no Marciano for a few days, they would have gotten…
- About six dirty bowls left in the sink (though to be fair, I would have cleaned four forks in compensation)
- Close to 47 boogers left on the furniture (sue me for using that joke twice, my lawyers and I are ready)
- Approximately 11 hours of prime television time lost to me playing Dead Space 2 baked
- Woken up three times by me brushing my teeth at 2:30 a.m. each night
- 137 updates on how my fantasy teams are doing (10th, first, second place)
- Their sweatshirts and hats borrowed twice without their permission
- Absolutely no free food from Freshens or Belle Air Terrace no matter how few points they have because
a manager might read thisthat is against Villanova Dining Services Policy
- Half a dozen over-explained jokes like the one above told awkwardly in person
- Half a dozen eggs they bought used
- Two jugs of Odwalla Superfood (the green stuff) that they could drink but never will because it looks like puke
- 20 raps songs they don’t know played loudly while they are studying and I am playing FIFA against someone who doesn’t live there.
I think that’s everything.
Look for many posts this weekend.